Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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