The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
