they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
