my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize