she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
