whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
