used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
