My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
