dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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