Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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