Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he shaved USA in his pubs
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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