Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
