So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
