I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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