I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
