Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
