On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize