i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
