She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
