I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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