We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
