so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize