I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
