this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
