I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
