I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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