So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
