Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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