Don't you send me to vm
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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