awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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