there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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