You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
