i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize