Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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