are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
this is an emotional support booty call
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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