I can't watch pbs sober anymore
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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