i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
