So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
