im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
