that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
