God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize