Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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