Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
