; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
