he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
