Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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