You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
