You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
