I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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