i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize