u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
