No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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