Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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