I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
