do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
