So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize