too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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